You are the ones who are the ball lickers!
(I just like that quote…)
Now, on to the business at hand.
Bad Santa (un rated) comes out on DVD Tuesday. Buy it, watch it, laugh your shit off, then watch it again. I saw the fucker in the theaters 3 times… it was seriously the best exercise I’d had in years. I laughed so hard–so hard–so very fucking hard–that my abs went from flab to 6-pack.
Have a 6-pack at the ready for the movie… you’ll need it. You just can’t watch Billy Bob act that drunk without wanting to join in the excitement.
Got beer??? Play the Bad Santa Drinking Game (devised by yours truely)… any time someone in the movie says “Santa” or “fuck”, take a drink. If you’re not wasted after the infamous Santa and Santa-fetish Bartender (Lauren “sweet ass” Graham) sex scene, you should probably start going to ‘the meetings’ (if that’s over your head… it’s the 4th link on my Links page). Here’s a joke for you (I made it up just now)…
Q: What does a Santa-fetish Bartender say while scrumping an alcoholic mall Santa in the front seat of a car?
A: “Fuck me, Santa! Fuck me, Santa! Fuck me, Santa! Fuck me, Santa! Fuck me, Santa! Fuck me, Santa! Fuck me, Santa! Fuck me, Santa! Fuck me, Santa! Fuck me, Santa! Fuck me, Santa! Fuck me, Santa! Fuck me, Santa! Fuck me, Santa! Fuck me, Santa! Fuck me, Santa! Fuck me, Santa! Fuck me, Santa! Fuck me, Santa! Fuck me, Santa!”
So… I didn’t really make that up… it’s in the movie.
But seriously… I laughed so hard I cried. My jaw hurt when the movie was over. Abs of steel. In fact… I don’t think I’d laughed that hard since I’d seen the “Who does Number 2 work for” scene in Austin Powers.
Don’t wanna take my word for it? Woody laughed so hard he puked (twice).
I’m sitting at my desk at work writing this… so for extra inspiration I pull up the trailer and watch it.
Now… I’ve done alotta odd stuff in my office… but this probably takes it. I just laughed myself to tears watching the trailer. The trailer isn’t even that funny (“The following PREVIEW has been approved for ALL AUDIENCES”)… but I was crying.
I might have to take the day off Tuesday to watch Bad Santa. Seriously. I can’t fucking wait. I’ll probably be at Wal-Mart at midnight waiting for the shit to hit the shelves (heh… elves).
I need to end this post.
Side note (is that word hyphenated?): I just read thru some of my older posts… it’s crazy how much of that shit I don’t remember writing!
Also: If anyone would like a journal/diary/webpage at last-link.com, let me know (I’m just that nice). It’s free. There’s no ads/banners/popups. You can have whatever name you want (like… www.last-link.com/~CooterScooter). Just e-mail me or leave a comment.
…i loved a woman that wasn’t clean…